Monday, January 17, 2005

I love You Well

I write to you
expecting nothing
asking for nothing
giving you nothing
I seek nothing more
than to be a shadow
on your wall, a window
to the pleasant past
not to your past anguish

An old coat
a glove
a rosary, the bridge
to the sweet medicine
not to the bitter cure

A point of support
a string, a chair
a joist
a ladder
a kiss on the cheek
the certainty of a dream
the embrace of a child
who remembers you and plays
in your backyard, with you
who remembers you and suffers
what you have endured

A truncated romance
for lack of malice
by cowardice or fate
by adolescence or rush
a heartache
a sadness
a teardrop
the corner of my mouth
a frustrated utopia
an insane hope
a sound, a hush
the remote possibility
which hurts when reminisced
and sweetens when recalled

The sensation of being
by your side and not to see you
of seeing you without you being
by my side and to have you
to hold you
and to lose you
of missing you
of false starts and stops
of cursed tomorrows
a whisper in your ear
and an absolute faith
in what has never been

From you I expect nothing
but I await anxious
to see me in your stare
to chat about our childhood
when I held your hand in mine
as if it were a rose
trembling and smiling
as I gazed into your eyes
and tightening my lips
I said a thousand silent words
the ones I never told you
the ones you knew all too well
hoping that one day
you'd forgive me and realize
that I loved you then and I love you still
and although it doesn't matter anymore
that I miss you now
and that my voice
still calls your name.

© 2005 Alberto Ruiz. All Rights Reserved