Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I Will Change My Name

I will change my name when I grow up 
to something less remorseful
it constantly reminds me of myself
—Whenever someone calls me.

Our father broke his promise yet again
to take us to the ball game
I swore last time, this time would be the last time
—I wish I'd never met him!

Let's go, George, back home to Auntie
she cares for us, she says she means it
wipe your eyes, you know big boys don't cry
—Don't be a sissy.

Georgie Boy, isn't this exciting?!
It's just you and me against the entire planet!
I'll let you fly the invisible spaceship
—If you promise to be gutsy.

Stop this useless hunger for affection, George
'cause every day tastes like the next day
but the next day doesn't come for kids like us, today
—Perhaps tomorrow.




Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Two Things

Life hasn't taught me a whole lot
I've made the same mistakes I looked to avoid
I only know I know two things
Two things I don't think twice about
Simple but salient, hard and hurtful
measured and overflowing but straightforward
one is to break clean with the past, to move on
and to leave the impossible alone
because the biggest damage we can cause is to love
for the wrong reasons.

Found feelings, people running around me in circles
thirsty for a bittersweet drink, lost souls
but it's not me they are looking for
they're searching for themselves and don't know it
the secret lies within them, not in others
they'll never understand what their brains hide
because it hurts to recognize they've wasted their time
and their youth, and that they've spent their entire lives
thinking other people's thoughts and dreaming
other people's dreams.




Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Shrapnel

There are some things I can't quite contemplate these days
largely because I'm steadily going senile, deaf and dumb
the recurrent faint buzz I've heard since childhood is now a howl,
the floating debris I used to see whenever I closed my eyes has sunk to new lows
my mind is occupied with shapes and words but my ears are blind to bright sound
the colors of the familiar are slowly fading in the far distance
into black, which I've been told is not actually a color
but a mix of all my sorrows.


The Hero
I distinctively remember a particular television episode
the hero chased after the bad guy and eventually caught him
they became friends and drank together at the local watering hole
it turned out both men used the same brand of fabric softener. Who knew?
the hero stabbed the bad guy below the right nipple sixty two times
right after he came back from the laundromat
four times would have been enough to kill him
but he said he liked the sound of the knife going in and coming out.


The Old Man
I met the old man by the yellow dumpster outside Madame Thoreau's
he shook my mind and read my hand without looking at the lines
he had skills, he was a wise war veteran, he saw it coming
he said I had a tight grip and a troubled but promising past
"But your future. . .", he said, "is too foggy to be determined at this time"
"These things take a while, and that is a luxury I can't afford"
"You will die for sure one day after a lengthy and painful illness"
I could have told him that!


The Mother
The mother loved the twins at first sight, they were so precious!
but she was young and pretty, her feet got cold before the baptism
she decided she was too alive to care and too selfish to share
She wrote: "To whom it may concern.." and dumped the caskets on a doorstep
A vicious woman came home after an orgy and found them
she fed them and clothed them and made them her personal slaves
but one fine day they turned against her and they killed her
and then they turned against each other.


The Payback
Once you've tasted her sex in the morning you won't go back to cereal
she will hold you in her womanly charms until you promise her forever
but forever is a mighty, mighty long time and now you wonder:
will she hold you responsible for her own insufferable existence?
a hefty price to pay for her garden of delights, but you're starving
and you sign on the invisible dotted line, reluctant but expecting
a long life full of groans, moans, caresses and fleshy mountains
but instead you'll get what's coming to you.





Copyright © Alberto Ruiz 2001/2008 All rights reserved

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Blind Optimism

Life is not anything
and it won't be much further
nor closer to what it will become
It will do what it will want to accomplish
It will say what its mouth will want to tell you
It will laugh alongside your pity, it will coexist
within the darkness of the world, it will burst apart
from the innards toward the outwards, it will demolish
doors and the windows alike, it will bring enlightenment
to our collective consciousness, to our collective murkiness
It will cook wild roots, medicinal herbs will be boiled into cures
It will masticate on the truth, it will regurgitate it into the mouths
In the faces of those who desecrate all what is beautiful it will spit
It will shove into reason all things which by force and stubbornness
were instituted and declared law, all things anchored in impunity and
from the entrails of the hired assassins it will produced a clenched fist
full of magnolias, hyacinths, sunflowers, lilies, violets and it will give birth
to the forefathers of the grandfathers of the sons of the renaissance.




Copyright © Alberto Ruiz 2001/2008 All rights reserved

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Consistency Killed The Cat

Do me a favor, love another
Better yet, love yourself
The past is a killer, a sin
a knife in search of flesh
a hand grenade
in search of a hand

or a brain


No one can suffer this much
while pointing out
just how much it hurts
No one bleeds this long
and remains alive to count
every single drop of red

except politicians


This is not a war for two
we simply disagree
You are not my enemy
and I'm not the one you need
Pain is whatever
you want it to be

but a reason to believe


You can be your own best friend
or your own worst foe
if you love the way you claim
please leave well enough alone
I am going to kill the lights
and I want you gone

by the time I turn them back on







Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Some People

Stick it out until the very beginning
then turn around and walk backwards
towards the front of the line, that takes courage!
or so I've been told but I beg to differ.

Some people blame and forgive at once, that's normal
for persons suffering from bipolar disorder
society should dictate they must wear bright name tags
so others can avoid them upon visual contact.

Some people lose all common sense and other luggage
awaiting at the claim office for retrieval
my job is to record what I have witnessed
without touching the gun planted as evidence.

Some people dream after they have awakened
that what they have dreamt is true for all eternity
they don't understand that love means 'freedom'
they want to own you and avoid owning their own souls.

I am the cause of all your sufferings, I'm guilty
because that's the way you have decided it must be now
you wouldn't recognize responsibility for your own actions
if it hit you square in the vagina.

Some People think love means to own, to enslave, to burden
to put shackles on thoughts, to hold accountable
to manipulate a person's feelings into promises
so they can later be used for blackmail purposes

I'm tired, I'll retire to my dire existence, begrudgingly
it's all I have, it may not be of much use to you
I want nothing I haven't deserved, pain included
you are sweet but you repeat yourself and I'm tired.




Copyright © Alberto Ruiz 2001/2008 All rights reserved