Sunday, October 26, 2008

Love At First Zeit or How I Met Your Mother

We nervously shook hands and smiled profusely
—neither of us were any good at making small talk—
I must have uttered an inappropriate comment
or a ridiculously useless observation (perhaps both)
After the compulsory display of etiquette
we let go of each other's palms, real slow
careful not to send erroneous signals
however, the main damage had been done
I don't think I could ever had imagined
we'd get married, raise two kids and own a dog
I did sense the significance of the encounter
but I'm often wrong about this sort of stuff
My brain began the chemical skirmish
firing at will, bombing away mercilessly
hormones drenched in undiluted teenage spirits
butterflies with ten foot wings inside my gut
the residuals of your tiny hand in my hand
echoes of my tiny mind stuck in your "Hello".

The arrant stench of adolescent awkwardness
permeated the already dense atmosphere
your cheerful black eyes, your curly black hair
the way you mispronounced my christian-given name
the way the broad striped blue & white tee shirt
tightly hugged your hourglass frame
the way your bony and slender elbows
kept on puncturing your plushy thighs
the way you ran the tips of your forefingers
across the stubborn creases of your denim pants
Details and yet more exquisite details
cramming the minute space between my ears
dancing like greek drunks at a greek wedding
until I came back down to planet earth
Your open smile bulldozed my sky-high fences
it split the world as I knew it then, in two halves
you said goodbye, stood up and left the premises
my heart of glass broke into a million shards.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Sunday, October 19, 2008


In autumn
You are an open wound shifting colors
The time you give to me is my own time
times fourteen Augusts

In autumn
You're more than the sum of my thoughts
You are everything and all I want to become
if I could ever belong

In autumn
The candor of your soul pierces the purple sky
Forty one rainy days and seven moonless nights
Forty one wishes realized

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Saturday, September 27, 2008

A Shaggy Dog

I once had a shaggy dog,  his name was 'Sergeant Neutrino'
A taxi ran him over 

Before the doggie died, he said —and I quote: "Life is short 
but love is shorter"

For many years I thought  this to be true  and I embraced it
In fact, I lived it

Which brings me to this point and to the moral of this poem
 Indulge me for a minute

I must confess I'm yours in body and soul, in flesh and blood
and other sticky fluids 

In terms that can't be measured and ways we can't imagine 
Let alone understand

You have humbled me to smithereens and spoiled me rotten
Both at once
You tweaked my ways and made a man out of my inner child
This is a well-known fact 

You've taught me how to love completely by loving me to bits
(and pieces)

My love is longer than the Mississippi,  harder than diamonds
and stronger than steel 

I've changed the structure of this song because you told me to
Because you took a chance
and believed in me 
from day one

For if I did not have you by my side,  I would not be one half 
the man I am
And I am myself
to a larger extent
because you are
who  you are.
The End

I Love You

P.S. The dog was wrong
God bless his stupid soul

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Mutual of Omaha

Being things as they currently are and given the objective facts, blah, blah, blah. . .
One would assume, presume and make no mistake, etc, etc., etc, dot, point, period, dash. . .
that I, the undersigned, due to extenuating circumstances, despite all that funky jazz,
and meeting the required criteria over under, out and about, point, click, hulk smash . . .
Hereby, and by the power invested in me by the state of drunkenness, file, foil, fold, stamp. . .
By unanimous decree and semi-divine right, I officially declare today, the fifth day of March
as the first ever day of the rest of my natural life. Please don't laugh.

You, the oversigned, having read some, but not all of the fine print, wink, wink, splish, splash. . .
Hereunder agree to put up with my swinging moods, rocky starts and aimless, useless rants
And therefore, having been made fully aware of the consequence at hand, feet, teeth and otherwise
do solemnly swear to abide by the law of the land we call love and disregard all that flutters by
To pledge allegiance to my heart and the parts of my anatomy which names begin with the letter "R"
wrong or right, until the end of time, furthermore and ever last or at least until God tears us apart
Please sign on the dotted line; 'X' marks the spot, you may kiss the bride's sweaty underpants.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Thursday, August 14, 2008


I have read your entire body with the tip of my finger
what I couldn't touch I have imagined
the parts I memorized, I can recite by heart, line by line
at a moment's notice

I've drawn your silhouette with the tip of my tongue
the joys I've never felt before, I have experienced
the shapes I recognized, I've kept inside a heart-shaped box
under my soul-shaped pillow

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Monday, July 21, 2008

Ode To Social Networking

The throat shuts closed
in the midst of crying
one eye winking at him
one eye spying
The 'friend' weeps
with heartfelt sincerity
in the act of lying
The vinyl rose forever blooms
as it remains forever dying
Trying as you might
to justly justify your deeds
you can't bring yourself
to deny them

Her tear dries
before dropping
one hand upon your shoulder
one deep inside your pocket
The brain knows
The heart ignores
The body craves
The ego lets go
accepts, surrenders
you're nothing but a human puppet
ding-dong, strings strung
one leg in the grave
one leg on the floor.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Time Strikes Again

Dear Mother:

I write this to tell you that I've always loved you
even though I stopped saying it years ago
you were my hero, I looked up to you
bigger than life and fearless, you roamed
among the strongest, you stood strong
you never erred and when you did I turned
my head in disbelief and chose to ignore it all
because your rights, by far outnumbered your wrongs
I reckon my path and yours were not in line
my soul and yours . . .? . . .Well . .
that's another rhyme, for another time
still, I want you to know that I am
thankful for being your son and that I stood under your light
which once was bright and steady and now flickers and dies
who I am I owe to you, warts and all
you were my champion then, and then some
until I lost you to your desire to eclipse the sun with your thumb
I get it now, you were nothing if not all too human at that point
but you learned it couldn't be done, at least not alone
you're back to walk on earth and I admire you for it but I know
there won't be enough time
to make up for loss of mind and so I'm sad that I
didn't write this a longer while ago, and furthermore
sad to have found this lost love I saved for you in my lost soul
because I won't know what to do with it once you're gone, so don't go.

I love you, Mom.
Stay strong!

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Monday, June 16, 2008

Alligator in the Skewer

Eyes keep fixing on the ceiling but you really don't know why
Mind keeps making the same blunders like it's going out of style
Mighty Dollar's got you kissing your employer's big fat ass
Sold your friends right down the river, still that didn't get you far
Seems you're running out of asses and your lips are running dry
Used to think that 'this' was funny when 'this' happened to "that guy"
Now "that guy" is on your mirror looking at your hollow mask
Try and tell him what you told me when we both were twenty one
Say, your self-respect was priceless. Just how cheap you think it was?
Now you're crawling like a reptile, back to ask me for a hand
I have got no hand to give you, eat your maxed-out credit cards
Bon appétit.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Simple Like A Rhyme

Quiet like a flower
a pale yellow rose
strong as a tall tree
a willow of sorts

Sweet like the pulp
from the sugar cane
cool like the waters
of the summer rain

Merry as a songbird
kind as a doe
calm as a blanket
of pure satin snow

Warm as the sun king
simple as dew
bright as a moonbeam
faithful and true

Comfy and cozy
just like an old shoe
your love is my rubber
and I am your glue.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Questionnaire of The Absurd

Thinking, I thought this here tonight, finding
a place for neglected promises of the maybe
mixing guilt and probabilities with my index
while drinking from the silver cup of golden opportunities
making sense of the half realized potential
the alone and the lonely long-gone farewell
Ten questions bouncing against the wallpaper
clinging to the ceiling of my life's soundtrack
like flies to the downward spiral sticky resin
Ten full years of self denial and self hypnosis
dancing wild , leading to mental castration
Is it fair to blame oneself for blaming destiny?
or do I get a pass for lack of timely knowledge?
Are there ten levels to every moral precept?
if so, where is it safe to park my negligence?
Is there a string theory justifying self deception?
if true, how many alternate mistakes am I living?
am I a fulfilled individual in another universe?
what portion of the main moral contradiction
is allocated to forgiving years of utter indifference?
Is this healthy or useless? Please don't answer
I'll find out on my own tomorrow morning
it's not that I can even hear you, either.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Solid Blue

Our clothes came off but not our inhibitions
we couldn't see beyond our eyes, the room
inside the dark devoured the space around us
and everything it touched turned solid blue
I remember my hands hovering over your hips
and my nose meeting the tip of your nose

The crude attempt at an awkward kiss
our lips barely touching and stopping short
I recall suspending my blue frame in mid air
for fear of crushing you under my weight
you said: "Let yourself go, it's fine", you smiled
I breathed a sight of relief and then I fell

I free fell forever down your unmarred body
my fingers charting pathways on your skin
swimming in the deep side of your blue thighs
gasping for air, suffocated, deaf and blind
I remember wanting to die inside you
fully convinced I was in heaven all the while

The blanket of blue concealed our naked shadows
until the imprudent pink moon filtered in
through a peephole in the only wooden window
and softly sung a sad and jealous chant
something about the fleeting nature
of human flesh, of puppy love and idle hands

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

While I Was Out

I had a bad dream last night and you were in it 
you had disappeared without a trace
it felt so real I had no choice but to confirm it
I desperately flung my arms across the bed
but in your place I felt a folded sheet of  paper.

I read the note you wrote me, barely breathing
tears plopped like bombs from a B52, ink bled all over   
a big blue hole inside my chest, the size of Texas 
in the spot where my heart used to own real estate

I tightly closed my eyes to squeeze out the excess salty water
and drifted slowly into some sort of drunken stupor
when I came to I saw you standing near me
with a grin on your face and on your lips a warning:

"Next time you swing at me in your sleep, I'll hurt you"

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Slacker Method

A sudden single notion ignites a series of reflections
the thought acts like a magnet attracting connections and personal introspection
there is no reason to this behavior nor there is rhyme
if I could explain it to myself, I might, but I can't, which is fine.
Better yet, I would rather not know the logic to it (if there's one)
there is no sense in attempting to understand, this is not divine nor sublime
However, within the apparent haphazardness and inconsistency of action
there lies a clear objective, a straight line, a path, a hidden pattern,
a vision which often doesn't reveal itself until after the consummation
or seconds before but by then it's too late to put together a well thought out reaction.

The whole creative process takes into account all imagined, perceived and known variables
unlike a practical application with a foreseeable result,
the unknown and invisible factors play key roles in the unpredictable outcome
in fact, we must count on their inevitable appearance at random intervals
to inflict mayhem and guide the original thought to its natural conclusion
some involuntary self-sabotage is necessary, of course
but we can't predict to what extent it helps or measure its destructive force
add to all that a carefully orchestrated placement of obstacles, procrastination and detours
to coerce the mind into fabricating sound and viable solutions at a moment's notice
and to will the raw idea into material existence by force of chance, chaos and disorder.

In other words: we wing it.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Sunday, May 4, 2008


I am not the same man I was a week ago
I am not even sure what that means
which means I know but can't put it into words
I'm as confused as ever but things are clearer
can't put my finger on it, I just know it
I know it sounds vague, foggy and hollow
but there's no other way I can explain it
my mind is wide open and overflowing
with nothingness, if there is such a thing
which is not the same as emptiness, I feel
as if I'm moving forward, floating or flying
diving in slo-mo while standing still
The many voices in my head are silent now
they are no longer asking me questions
I can only answer in my dreams.
I have never felt so at ease, at peace
This calm I am not accustomed to but it suits me
it doesn't scare me but it intrigues me
it doesn't consume me but it compels me
Don't know what it is but I think it knows me
it will swallow me whole if I'm not careful
or it already has and I don't know it.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Thursday, April 17, 2008


No science fiction here, this is a true tale of love and hatred:
Renny, picked up a dozen aerosol paint cans and tied his many belts and loops
he put on the same old leather jacket he wore to his brother's burial the night before
I guess he thought that somehow black would give him an edge
or maybe he was just dressed to attend his own funeral
He strapped the green camo bag full of spray cans to his back, slid his helmet on,
took off his old chucks, tossed them in the bag and put his military boots on
he felt nervous, that was to be expected, this was no ordinary date
The machines were celebrating "Metralla Day" at City Hall
the adjacent streets were empty, everyone was either home or at the event
His brother had climbed the steep hill and infiltrated the bunker 2 days prior
but the machines blew him up before entering the White Room
that was as far as anyone had ever gotten, but not nearly enough
Renny remembers having gone to the station to pick up his brother's remains, which weren't much
he could have picked them up with a spoon, this fact was still fresh, it motivated him
He brought his flying contraption to the edge of the opposite mountain,
the machines had never seen a glider before, not this kind, anyway.
This one resembled a giant hawk, feathers and all, it was cleverly designed
but one could still see a tiny human inside, if one tried, although not from afar
At the fortress the celebration turned ugly, humans and machines divided
into 4 or five small groups, the machines kept together, naturally, the humans disbanded
the eerie tension between the various gangs ignited into a fight
humans and machines went at each other, humans got the worst part
lacerated to the core but still alive, they fled the fortress, though some fell behind
many of them thought better to remain calm and wait until dark
but in the end the machines located them and wiped them out, one by one
While this was occurring, Renny landed on the dome of the White Room
but his bag caught one of the loose screws and ripped open
seven of the twelve cans hit the floor making a racket.
The machines heard the noise and mobilized towards the room in question
Renny had cut a hole in the dome and while hanging from the ceiling,
sprayed the pristine walls with his multicolor madness.
The machines weren't allowed in the room, all they could do is watch in horror
and wait until the deed was done in order to force the intruder out, somehow
Renny knew the consequences full well but he had triumphed over fascism
the machines went blind from the bright colors and started to run into each other
they shot their guns at random rendering themselves useless in the process.
Machine gun stutter filled the air, bullets ricocheted madly all over the place.
One of them stroke Renny in the back of the neck as he stepped outside the dome
Rengård Niles Woodrow died from his wounds on his way to "Gray County Hospital".

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Thursday, April 3, 2008


You scramble my pancakes and flatten my scrambled eggs
you let me think I'm in control, you lead me a merry dance
I'm painfully aware I'm not the sharpest in your shed
just smart enough to know who really wears the pants

You think I'm a big deal because you love me
not a compelling thought, but I'll take it 'cause you give it
I was a bum, I didn't have a life before you met me
you gave me one and three reasons to live it

A fleshy work of art with more virtues than flaws
how can I not worship the very ground you walk on?
A breathing algebraic equation keenly clad in women's clothes
I thought I had you figured out, turns out I'm flat-out wrong

A while ago I could have sworn you were your mother's daughter
but you're more like the girl in J. Manuel Serrat's
who doesn't need to bathe each night in holy water
and doesn't know she's pretty but she sort of does

Remember the first time I saw your body in the raw?
you don't, 'cause that is not like you to do, but I do
the heat and the humidity were high, the ceiling low
but none of those things mattered to us but us two

I was born again, that scorching afternoon in January
I'd been a pessimistic boy and nothing more
but even that half-truth would prove just temporary
as your purple satin undies hit the icy bathroom floor

Turning my brain upside down, that wasn't your intention
it's not your doing, nor your fault to be as pretty as you are
which clearly hasn't changed you into a better person
but in your case, I do believe it has

A kind of visual ecstasy engulfed my senses, fully
like when I saw the "Birth Of Venus" full-size poster
(the Botticelli painting, not the planet, silly)
the sort of thing that only admiration fosters

The splendor of your form eclipsed the printed pictures
you were far more attractive than any godly vision
and God should know full well because she made you
and everything God makes is for a reason.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Sunday, March 30, 2008

I Close My Eyes To Kiss You

I close my eyes to kiss you and I can't tell night from day,
leather from suede, December from May, moon from earth
I close my mind to wish your kiss would never end
my lips climb inside your open mouth and melt away
I wave goodbye to what is left of my trouble-ridden self
I shut my eyes wide open to listen to your swollen chest
I'm not aware of where I am, where I will be or where I've been
all I know is I'm not here and I'm not there but somewhere else
my mind reveals the wicked thought of being swallowed whole
You close your eyes to kiss me and let your inhibitions go
I relinquish all remaining futile hopes for self control
Devouring your cotton candy kisses one by one and gulp by gulp
like Pac-Man feasts on helpless dots and evil blinking ghosts
my eyes are shut but I can see the shadows of our souls
embracing in a passionate disorder, lips on skin and push on shove
tears of sugar, sweats of honey, milk and cookies and so forth
our blood boiling, running rampant, speeding to a screeching halt
membranes grinding, veins imploding, two hearts pounding
torch lit bodies colliding, melding seamlessly into one
in a pool of loud desire and quiet tenderness
like two soldiers meeting in an even battlefield
in a slow-churning human blender
two tortured prisoners of love
in a war where both sides win
and both surrender

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Friday, March 28, 2008

Red Eye Flight

You've been crying ever since you came into this bitter world
a heap of fun that's not
Your coffee-colored eyes have purple clouds and crimson lines
I almost feel the pain they hide
You must have been a serial killer in your twenty previous lives
to justify the current one
Why do the Gods despise you so? what did you ever do or say
to inspire such a wrath?
Or do they even understand you're nothing but a helpless child?
have they gone blind?
Given the chance, I wouldn't for a second hesitate to lunge at them
and rip their souls apart
You're warm and true, you'd never hurt a fly, the fact still stands
you own the kindest heart
I love you more than life, I wish I could do more than what I can
at times I feel my hands are tied
I know the love I offer you is not enough, although I wish it was
it's such a crime
Without the slightest doubt, I'd give my life and everything I've got
to see your big brown eyes
forever smile.

I love you.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Friday, March 21, 2008

Rabbit Hole, Rabbit Hole

You say you want your cake and you want to eat it
I say I want my life back but I'm too chicken to admit it
well, this here sounds like an admission, ain't it
I guess I wasn't too much of a chicken to begin with

Save your drama and your good looks for someone else
one is fun for half a minute, for the latter, I couldn't care less
your acting talent is pretty apparent, why lay it all to waste?
when you could be starring in your own 'reality' train wreck

I drank too much and told you the truth for once today
the stories I come up with when I'm sober are insane
they might amuse you but to me, they're gettin' sort of stale
I'm bored to tears with years and years of pretty much the same ol' shit

It takes a 'real man' to turn about and change his stupid ways
but I don't see one in the mirror every time I shave
if I were you, I'd ran as fast and far as I could and stay away
I'll contradict myself and hurt you, you can take that to the grave
. . . I think.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Phil LeBlanc (Spring)

What's your name? . .
. . that is a nice one.
I'm Daniel . .
. . I've been called worse.

How old are you? . .
. . I'm bad at guessing . .
. . me too. Well, almost . .
. . I'll be 15 in July.

You look younger . .
. . but you're mature . .
. . for a girl your age . .
. . I like that in a woman . .
. . don't know why
I just do.

What's your sign? . .
. . you are a kind person . .
. . yeah, I think it shows . .
. . Your turn to guess . .
. . Yes, I am a Cancer,
I have my issues.
. . How did you know?

'You have a boyfriend? . .
. . sorry to hear that
I've never had one . .
. . a girlfriend, that is . .
. . no, I mean, I'm serious! . .
. . I'm much too shy.

Where do you live? . .
. . that's pretty far . .
. . the south side. .
. . no, no parents,
Just relatives . .
. . One would think that
but no, it's not good . .
. . it has its benefits.

where do you go to school? . .
. . I've heard of it,
I'm not impressed, though . .
Mercantile School, huh? . .
. . Naval Academy . .
. . not what you think it is . .
. . you're easily impressed!

Can I walk you home? . .
. . I understand . .
. . I'd like that . .
. . I have friends here . .
. . C-5 building,
the orange section . .
. . Yeah, tomorrow
. . OK, better be here! . .
. . trust me, I will! . .

. . Bye. .Uh, wait!
close your eyes,
give me your hand . .
. . just something I drew. .
. . I had the feeling you would . .
. . and I will think of you too . .
. . See you tomorrow.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I'm Watching My Tears Drop

And hit the floor
splash upwards
in a mushroom
dive down into
a lake of salt
which overflows
and streams along
the narrow hall
and seeps under
the ikea rug
which swells & bloats
into a globe
which rolls upon
the neighbor's wall
and bounces off
and out the door
onto the street
and past the mall
and runs amok
with gaping jaws
flattening all
it runs across
and eating those
with happy thoughts
who hide inside
the phony smiles
and 'thank you' notes.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Words & Numbers

Drove 5 days from New York to California
All I did was think of you while crunching numbers
longing minus time, times love, divided by the distance
imagining your eyes in mine and vice-versa

I stopped by the side of the road somewhere in Denver
and wrote these words to ease my aching yearning
the compulsion to be near you is just as brutal
as this winter, which is long and getting longer

They say 'Necessity is the mother of invention'
I guess I need to rub my face against your belly
or perhaps it's just a natural reaction
to the love potion I drank before you left me.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I See London . . .

I just love watching you walk upstairs
it is my dirty little secret
your legs, your hips. your waist have got me hooked
I think I could be addicted

Anyway I see it, this seems wrong
but maybe that's the attraction
having lived with you for years I should be strong
what's with this guilty satisfaction?

I should behave like any decent married person
and not a peeping tom
I should be cured with any amount of reason
should have become immune but I am none

Wisdom claims love's nothing but a big wave
it comes and goes at will, you can't predict its pattern
if I'd concede they are one third correct, then
its crest should lift me all the way to Saturn

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Elegía con Lágrima

Movie Of The Week

She was a poet
I was her pet
she was my riddle
I was her chair
she came in bunches
I hardly slept
I slapped her backside
she quenched my thirst

I crossed the ocean
to fight the war 
her heart was broken 
my soul was torn
she felt so lonely
a lover's spurned
I found another
'pon my return

My days grew weary
my soul grew blue
until that Sunday
when I met you
You're not a poet
I'm not your pet
you love me more
than I love myself

She saw us kissing
under a tree
the sight was gruesome
it made her sick
she took the blue pills
to help her sleep
she swallowed sixty
she's sleeping still

The End.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Tired & Happy

Show me 
how you do 
those crazy things you do
I want to learn
to please you
pretend I'm a small child
teach me
let me see
what hides behind your smile
lift up the corner 
of your bashful skirt
guide my hand
let me feel 
under your shirt
Show me
Drop your silky gown 
half way south
I'm curious now
I need to know
what hides behind your frown
Show me 
some of your charms
but not all 
I'm patient
I can wait
I want you in my life for life
until death
Show me
torture me
tease me 
I want to save the best of you
for a rainy day
Show me
baby me
smother me breathless with your breasts
feed me by the bed
I want to wake up
tired and happy
I want to drown
before dawn
between your legs.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Friday, February 29, 2008

El Principito

(The Tiny Prince)

He was born under a dying star
the product of a hideous act
the first son of his mother's aunt
the last hope of his dying kind
he wasn't sent, he was dropped
he landed flat on his flat head
When he was old enough to wish
he wished he were dead and yet
He wanted to become an artist
and realized some years after
he had already been one, still
not the type who deals in colors
and shapes and lines and form
but rather one who dwells in horror
pain, deceit and neglect
He was left no choice but to dream
because the alternative was to die
nothing to do but to scheme
for he was shaken to the heart
by the urge to become someone
other than what others saw
He wished himself bigger-than-life
with bigger-than-life thoughts
He thought then, he was a royal heir
with a throne of filth and hopelessness,
He acted as if he were a prince
with a crown made of brown wrapping paper
and a kingdom made of human excrement
He ruled his wretched kingdom
with a shaky drawing left hand
and a loose blue tongue
Everyone lied to him since day one
so he learned to invent new words
the only ones who told the truth
had all been led astray
and what they thought was gold
smelled like drunkard's breath
but they blended in anyway
because to go against the grain
involved imagination
and that was the one and only thing
they couldn't buy or fabricate
He had to have been an escape artist
to pretend none of that was happening
he had to have been an artist imagining
something better
something finer
something other
than his sordid surroundings.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Tia Remolacha's Recipe for Success

Stop watching the time idly fly by
pick up the pen and draw or write, right now
the first thing that comes to your mind
there's no difference between him and me
between you and him, her and them
they also bleed, cry, fear, love and hate
their molecules and yours are much the same
as are the ones from a rock or a gem, and yet
we're just vibrating at a different rate

The secret is that there' is no sacred secret
the same 3 tools are at your disposal
Vibration, Repetition and Passion
vibrate open the door to infinite possibilities
a meaningful recurrent action is the key to pleasure
back and forth, in and out, up and down
now, just throw in a cup of passion for good measure
you get the general idea, let's do this again
real soon, real soon, real soon.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Note To Self

Hey you!
Yeah, you! Come here, I want to tell you something
it's not you, it's me. I don't belong here
I've tried, you know I have, I just can't cut it
I can't continue acting as if I cared, I don't, I know you know it
I'm kind of in a rough spot, when you and I look closer,
sure you weren't made for this and I wasn't made for either
but you keep holding on to this slim thread of fake hope
even though you clearly see the writing on this improbable wall
I learn hard, that's my worst trait, it takes time, I'm a late bloomer
the teacher said so himself, I'm a loser. I can't go through with this
I worked for years at following my gut and purposely ignoring signs
saying no to others costs me more than I can hide behind this mask
my hero complex took me for a long ride and now it's cold and dark
I'm a spineless romantic fool to a fault but on the other hand
if things don't go my way after a short while, I snap, hard
now, go on, get out of my sight, go find another sap.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Fairy Tale With An Unhappy Ending

I fell asleep on the job, I dreamt of fires and floods,
sulfur and brimstone, as the heavens screamed and roared
You were scared and alone, helpless and bored, you called.
I sensed the danger and jumped on my white high horse
I ran like the wind, battling good, evil and common sense
(and those nosy neighbors from the floor upstairs)
I traveled across the concrete desert for days,
I swam across the Dodgers-blue sea for years
I stopped in Vegas to rest for a short while,
played cards with the devil
and shot the Sheriff in Reno just to see him cry.
In Lodi I made a mole hill out of a huge mountain,
I peed inside a golden chalice in Rome
and drank yellow wine from a public fountain.
My thoughts were with you and with my lonely loins all along,
the nostalgic poem you wrote kept me up, high strung at dawn
I am a horny man of strong convictions, as you know, so I pressed on,
my aim was true but I was thrown completely off course, of course
with the wind at my back and a hole in the soul of my shoes,
I fought the law but neither one of us won, boo-whoo!
I mocked the judge, he screamed: "Repent, vile sinner!"
I said: I will, Your Honor, right after I pin her
he left me off the hook but with a stern murmur:
"Objects are farther than they appear on your rear view mirror"
But reminiscing is so much fun! how can this be wrong?
I was stunned!!
"No, no, my son. When the past gives you a queasy feeling,
you can bet your blue balls, it's time to move on"

To heck with him, what does he know?
He has never made love to you, has he?
never mind, don't answer that, stay put, I'm coming, lassie!
You undid your hair like Rapunzel, I grabbed it.
Holding on for dear life, I climbed down to hell to meet you, gladly
I fanned the flames and swept you off your feet
but miscalculated and tripped on my own remorse and fell badly
broke my spine, bruised my knees
and knocked out both of your wisdom teeth.

My bad. Oh well! clueless me.
I had the faintest this was not a good idea to begin with

but I couldn't help myself.

Copyright © Alberto Ruiz 2001/2008 All rights reserved.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Joined At The Hip

You said you always have a headache 
whenever my head aches
I laughed at you 'cause I have never
felt that way 

The way you feel for me

You said you can feel my heart beating
deep inside your chest
I called you crazy 'cause I've never
cared for someone else

The way you care for me

You say you know what I will tell you
before I say a word
and I believe you for you've shown me
the meaning of real love

The way you love me

Copyright © Alberto Ruiz 2001/2008 All rights reserved

Saturday, February 2, 2008

And Not A Minute Too Soon

Let me just say something here before the maggots slip
through the cracks in your face and dig into your brain
I know you can listen to my words, don't pretend this hurts,
you're dead.
For the very first time be the man you claimed in life you were
stronger individuals have succumbed to the pleasures of the flesh
but that wasn't enough for you, your drug of choice was causing pain
The bloody stain that gluttony left on your bloated skin
can't be washed off with your delayed display of false regret
How's this for poetic?:
"Forty of the King's horses and forty of the King's best men
couldn't put your pathetic lying soul together again. The End"

I knew you'd like that, you must be pleased.
You're going straight to hell if there is such a place,
three thousand degrees hot and not a single drop of rain
The women and children you purposely hurt, all the lives you managed to wreck,
all the orgasms. kind "thanks" and sincere smiles you faked
all the youth and faith you raped, the collective price they paid
is well worth it now to see you being put to final rest
I have forgiven you but I haven't forgotten your sly demeanor,
the way you came across: profound, heartfelt and genuine
if I only had a clue back then, but then again, I was too young and simple minded
to believe a person could be so defiantly dishonest.

You were so slick, you thought you would get away with all of it by dying,
fat chance! I wasn't fooled, rest in peace, Screw you!
Just though I should let you know I knew.
Roll over and play dead now and not a minute too soon.

Copyright © Alberto Ruiz 2001/2008 All rights reserved

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Attention Deficit Disorderly Conduct

7:30 PM staring at a blank page
the phone rings,
the cat sings, the dogs are loud
have to clean this mess in my head
but first, let's clean this desk
tonight seems eternal,
dreading the task at hand
C'mon man, concentrate!
distractions abound, calling all cars,
calling all cars, monumental chore
Breath slow, count to ten, exhale,
baby steps, focus!! Fuck us! Where are we?
back in 1961, Jeezus is that you, Peter?
is that you . . . . car 69?. . . .
10:00 PM coffee break
Phew! for a second there I thought I lost you,
but you're back and better than ever,
at least better than them,
you know, the zombies
they took off with your dumb brother,
the pick up game is going to kill him
I'm never going to finish this job, where was I?
There! it just happened again.
1:20 AM walk the dog, clear your head
Can't help but fading in and out of my mind
battle raging, video games playing our song
No! Return to base, I repeat, return to base!
Abort mission!! . . . .Argggggghhhhh!
Oh well!
We lost another good one.
4:30 AM
staring at the ceiling
staring at my bare feet
at a blank page staring back at me
the brain switches, the mind glitches
the hand twitches, hand me the waste basket
Goddamned leeches!
I think I 'm going to be sick
where am I?. . . .
7:30 AM

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved