Saturday, September 27, 2008

A Shaggy Dog

I once had a shaggy dog,  his name was 'Sergeant Neutrino'
A taxi ran him over 

Before the doggie died, he said —and I quote: "Life is short 
but love is shorter"

For many years I thought  this to be true  and I embraced it
In fact, I lived it

Which brings me to this point and to the moral of this poem
 Indulge me for a minute

I must confess I'm yours in body and soul, in flesh and blood
and other sticky fluids 

In terms that can't be measured and ways we can't imagine 
Let alone understand

You have humbled me to smithereens and spoiled me rotten
Both at once
You tweaked my ways and made a man out of my inner child
This is a well-known fact 

You've taught me how to love completely by loving me to bits
(and pieces)

My love is longer than the Mississippi,  harder than diamonds
and stronger than steel 

I've changed the structure of this song because you told me to
Because you took a chance
and believed in me 
from day one

For if I did not have you by my side,  I would not be one half 
the man I am
And I am myself
to a larger extent
because you are
who  you are.
The End

I Love You

P.S. The dog was wrong
God bless his stupid soul

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Mutual of Omaha

Being things as they currently are and given the objective facts, blah, blah, blah. . .
One would assume, presume and make no mistake, etc, etc., etc, dot, point, period, dash. . .
that I, the undersigned, due to extenuating circumstances, despite all that funky jazz,
and meeting the required criteria over under, out and about, point, click, hulk smash . . .
Hereby, and by the power invested in me by the state of drunkenness, file, foil, fold, stamp. . .
By unanimous decree and semi-divine right, I officially declare today, the fifth day of March
as the first ever day of the rest of my natural life. Please don't laugh.

You, the oversigned, having read some, but not all of the fine print, wink, wink, splish, splash. . .
Hereunder agree to put up with my swinging moods, rocky starts and aimless, useless rants
And therefore, having been made fully aware of the consequence at hand, feet, teeth and otherwise
do solemnly swear to abide by the law of the land we call love and disregard all that flutters by
To pledge allegiance to my heart and the parts of my anatomy which names begin with the letter "R"
wrong or right, until the end of time, furthermore and ever last or at least until God tears us apart
Please sign on the dotted line; 'X' marks the spot, you may kiss the bride's sweaty underpants.

Copyright © 2001/2008 Alberto Ruiz. All rights reserved